Fear

Eight weeks five days....thank you, thank you, thank you.

I have made it this far. I have been so scared the past few days that something wasn't right. Two weeks between appointments for me is like two years. Every day for the last two weeks I have wanted to call the RE's office and say that I had bleeding or some other lie just so I could get in earlier. Not that I would want ANYTHING to go wrong but scared does not even begin to explain what I have been. I decided that I just had to be positive today, I just had to be.

I was so nervous driving to the Dr.'s office. I played the song I played all the time while I was pregnant with Izzie in the hopes that it would help me. I held her two little princess dolls while the nurse began the ultrasound. I let her know how terribly nervous I was. She even mentioned that I was making her nervous with how nervous I was. When she began the ultrasound I said please just let me know that we have a heartbeat. She had the screen turned toward her and not me. I thought that might be a bad sign. She hesitated and then said that their was a great HB. Thank G-D!!!! And then....she mentioned that she saw not one but TWO heartbeats!!!

OMG!!!! I was so convinced that I was carrying twins before I went in for my first ultrasound. That or maybe it was ectopic but I really had not had any symptoms of an eptopic. My symptoms for a regular pregnancy have not been that bad. I don't know, it's all very weird. Of course we are thrilled. The nurse said she was nervous to tell us as apparently usually when she tells couples they have the opposite effect that we did. We are over the moon excited. I still think it's too early to tell anyone other that YOU and our family. DH got in the car an immediately called one of his sister's. I had planned to wait and tell our families when we were all together maybe this weekend for Izzie's birthday or on Father's Day when I planned to have everyone over.

I emailed my endocrinologist office this evening. Funny thing happened this morning apparently, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. My step father is a patient of the same endocrinologist I see. This morning my step father had an appointment. They had words about my (what does that say about HIPPA laws?). My step father really read Dr. T. the riot act about my situation and told him he better figure out how to help me because this is all just ridiculous. Funny thing is that Dr. T. had no idea I was pregnant again. I hadn't emailed them my BG or even emailed the office to get extra follow-up. It hasn't helped in the past so I figured until i knew things were on the right path their was no need to email or call them. Turns out Dr. T. said he was going to review my chart and call the perinatologists to consult. Yeah, ooopss they don't know yet either. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I graduated from the RE today so I would have had to let them know anyway but it's all a little crazy.

TWINS!