The Vacation

and a surprise...

Our vacation was so wonderful, everything I could have dreamed of and more. It was mostly all about Izzie and all the things she wanted to do. We stayed at a great resort in St. Pete Beach, FL. It had a million things to do, a ton of places to dine and places to see or you could do nothing at all. Of the seven days we were there we mostly did not much. We spent a lot of time in the sun, sand, and water. The resort has six pools. One was specifically "NO CHILDREN ALLOWED", it even had quiet hours though I did not take advantage. I could see several couples in that pool gazing over at the children's pool while hanging out in the adult pool. I sure wonder what was going through their minds.
We took Izzie to the Magic Kingdom one day. It was pretty amazing to watch it all through her eyes though I am glad we only did it one day. Disney is pretty overwhelming for a almost four year old. We also spent the afternoon at Busch gardens on Thursday. They have an area that is all for younger kids that is Sesame Street themed. We spent all afternoon in that area and when Izzie wanted to go back to the hotel we did just that. The price tag for an afternoon in a theme park where all we did was go on three rides and play in the splash pools was hefty. No argument from me though, it was worth it.
The breeze on the beach was cool but the sun was HOT! We really did enjoy our time in St. Pete. It was just what I had in mind for a vacation of relaxation. Tomorrow morning bright and early we are back to work and preschool. My step sister got married today and I wasn't there. I am at peace with it and even happy. I saw on FB that someone has already posted pictures of them as they were having there first dance and while they were getting married. I don't want to seem like the bitchy step-sister that I really am but she didn't look good. I feel sorry for her but you know what, it's the wedding she wanted. I hope she is happy, I wish her no ill will.

And for the shocking news (which won't be shocking to you but was to me): Pregnant again.

The Thursday before we headed out for vacation I had decided that if I wrote a letter to the baby that I lost in February and sent it off in the ocean while on vacation maybe it would help me to move forward. So, I did just that. At four o'clock on Thursday afternoon I sat down on my office computer and wrote a letter to "BOB" in seven point font. I spelled it all out and made a wish at the end. I printed the letter and wrapped it in a small square to put in my purse and take to the beach. I figured their would be a night that I would have the opportunity to take a few minutes to myself at the beach. Thursday night I was packing our suitcases and getting things ready for the trip. When I was digging through my drawers looking for something I found a couple cheapie pee sticks. My cycle was all screwed up and I was not planning on getting my period until the week we were going to be on vacation. I was certain that I had not ovulated until day 26, which is unheard of for me. I had commented to DH that it was nice not to worry about a pregnancy this month because we were not going to start trying until at least July or August. Dr. C. wanted to do a couple more tests.
So, as a joke to myself I slid into the bathroom while Izzie was watching a movie (DH was at a concert with his sister). I peed on the strip and wouldn't you know as soon as it touched it immediately turned dark with two lines. As I am repeating the "oh shit, no way" in my head, I know I can't say it out loud. Who can I call? Who could I tell? We were to leave for the beach early am on Sunday morning. This all happened at 9:30ish in the evening. Sooo, I got on Fac.eboo.k and thank g-d my friend was online. I am sure she was heartbroken as I told her what had just happened. She has been through 8 losses herself and she is leaving this week for NY to get another opinion. I was so thankful I could talk to her and she surely calmed me down. It's just that I generally don't get SURPRISE pregnancies. I could feel her pain, I know how I would feel if the roles had been reversed but she was super kind to me. She probably got off the phone with me and cursed me out but in that moment she talked me down and even offered me her Loven.ox (thanks Wifey).
I frantically emailed Dr. C (the RE) to figure out what to do, what I needed to start. I was literally in a tailspin freaking out. I waited until DH got home but wasn't quite sure how to break it to him. Remember, he is the one that is good with just Izzie. He was ok with getting off the crazy train. Me not so much. Bright and early on Friday I went in for a beta HCG. I was told that I would know with in the hour but didn't get a call back until 1:30 or so. My number was 14,000. Holey crap!!!! Of course given when my LMP was that number is VERY HIGH. They wanted to schedule an ultrasound for last week but remember I was getting ready to get on a plane for the beach. What to do, what to do. They told me what to look for with an ectopic (which I had not even thought about) and had me fill a bunch of scripts and made me an ultrasound for 5-23-11. I know that it is all going to work out this time. This pregnancy is going to go smoothly and we are going to have a baby/babies come December/January. Please say a extra little prayer if you can. If you can't and you made it this far and now you want to throw up with all the times that I have been pregnant. I understand and I still like you.
Tomorrow at 1:10 we find out what is going on. I am praying for at least one beating heart in there. Beyond that I am just hoping for a miracle!